11. … so below

Living a life as wild as that does expectantly has it drawbacks, s the body cannot keep on going eventually, and so it did for us as well. Partying and doing business all through the night until the early hours of the morning, then having wild sex until the sun came up, after which we’d sleep until late in the afternoon… it’s not a healthy lifestyle.

Having just recovered from massive, forced, drug abuse, and him being a long term pleasure user, and both knowing this and joking about it as we went along, we went for the ‘live fast, die young’ way of life, and by sheer chance he fell first from a badly aimed police baton at a protest rally, shattering his spine at the neck. It was over in seconds and he didn’t suffer, or so I was told, as I wasn’t there. Though Johann loved seeing me scream my head off for the cause, John didn’t like me attending the really dangerous ones, and so I was left behind on this one.

In the days that followed the police raided the house, and took everything, but John had been prepared for such an occasion, though meaning to use it when he was still alive, and I was already gone. I was out on the street again, this time alone and a few years older, a tiny bit wiser, and the only things I had to show for all of it was a suitcase full of very nice clothes, a fake ID, five thousand euros in pocket, which was money quickly spent by the way when you have nowhere to live and dare not trust anyone, having a past you couldn’t talk about as it will get doors thrown shut in your face.

Normally people would have called it quits here and gone home, and I thought about it, but didn’t, as I felt ashamed of what I had done, where I had been, afraid that mom had spent all these years looking for me, and angry that she hadn’t found me by now. Being tossed around by all those emotions, the anger won eventually because by then it had become second nature, and so I rampaged. As I knew I didn’t want to ask for favors from the Aryen nation and become the next best fuck of some guy I didn’t know, I followed John’s footsteps and with the last of my money in hand I went to John’s retailer, who I knew fancied me, bought some cheap XTC, and went clubbing. And as John had said, it is the easiest money you’ll ever make…

Until you get caught.


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